Thoughts from "Papa"

What a little girl has done….

The past year has changed my/our lives forever. We are in a place we have never before, meeting a little girl that we have never known surrounded by people we are not familiar with and doing something we have never done, yet we’re confident and sure about our direction.

I wish I could express in written word my thoughts about the past 12 months since Heather approached me about the idea of adopting. I just may be the poster child for a deft husband learning from an inspired wife that they need to be the parents of one more child that they did not create, is not entirely typical and is located half way around the world. This is exactly what I would discover as my future….

After the countless conversations that filled our once-a-week date nights and any late night time we had alone, the promptings that Heather was receiving slowly became mine as well. The spirit had been prompting her for a long time and she was now acting on it. (Thank you Heather.) This shows you how my wife inspires me and how I am learning to listen better as time goes by. This time I was blessed to catch up more quickly and take shared ownership of her thoughts and ideas. This is when the momentum started to pick up.

The conversations didn’t stop, they just became more interesting until one day when Heather mentioned the possibility of adopting a child with special needs. This was almost like going to back to the drawing board for me at first.  It was scary, but at the same time it felt right.  It started us in a whole new direction and lead us to Reece’s Rainbow.

One night after work, my cell phone rang just after picking up a few things for Heather at Costco.  I remember thinking I’ll answer the phone like “if you need anything else I’ve already left the store”.  Well, luckily I just said “Hello.”  She didn’t ask me to get more milk, she simply told me with emotion in her voice, “I think I just found our daughter”. I remember clearly today. I also remember walking in the house and seeing her picture for the first time on the computer screen and my wife and daughter in tears…now fast- forward 6 months and here are Heather and I in one of the coldest and strangest places I have ever been, walking up to the door of an old blue orphanage and being guided inside and watching Anna come confidently through the office door swinging her head around and talking a mile a minute in Russian with her two little pig tails flying. Heather and I laughed out loud while wiping away the familiar tears that started 6-8 months ago when the spirit confirmed to us that this was going to be our new daughter. There would be many more tears this week still to come. 

I’ve been trying to live in the present this entire week because I know it will quickly come to an end and we will be back home missing our little girl and wishing the time would pass more quickly so we can come back to bring her home. It’s tough! 

We’re allowed to visit the orphanage two times a day, though sometimes we only make it once because of committee or other meetings or simply due to the cost of the driver. ($150/day when we go twice.)

A few small observations:

I love the smell of Anna. I know it’s the smell of the orphanage, which of itself smells like what you would think an orphanage smells like, but it’s just her. I love to see her walk in a room. She has a commanding presence and she looks like she’s in charge when she enters. I love when she turns her head from side to side because her little pig tails that are wrapped in multi-colored rubber bands flip back and forth and just add to her personality.

Heather and I immediately noticed her little stubby fingers and how dexterous she is as she holds a crayon and colors with perfect form. Funny, I know, but I’m amazed how everything about her is so new to me. You know when you have a new baby and you first get the chance to really check them out, think of all the things you notice…fingers, toes, nose, back of their neck, eyes. 

Anna was just born to us and I love that we get to experience all of these things about her for the first time. It’s amazing to me that I have noticed this and that it matters to me. Her eyes are amazing. She can focus on you when she wants to and I have been nose to nose with her when she does. She has little wrinkles in the corner of her eyes that make her eyes slanted a bit and I wonder if that is typical of Ds. Her lips look chapped and Heather keeps commenting on how she needs some Chapstick.  She has a cute flat little nose and attached earlobes and her neck is chubby,  like the rest of her.

She has been a joy to be with, smile with, teach to "give knuckles" and "high 5" and just be with.

I feel so blessed this week.  I know we have just found our daughter.