The Story of a Little Duo

Once upon a time, there was a cute one-year-old named Eli. He was the fifth child of a family who just adored him.

From the time he was born, he was active, lively and happy.

Life was wonderful for this cute boy.

When he was almost two, his mom started filling his bedroom closet with clothes.

"Hmmm..." he wondered. "Why is my closet full of foofy dresses?"

One day, his mommy went away on an airplane and she was gone for over two weeks!

Then his dad was gone for a few days, and when they came home together,

they had a little girl with them!

This little girl was a little bit bigger than him, but acted like she was right about his age.  Hmmm...thought Eli. Who is she, anyway?

She gave him "knuckles" and hugged him, along with everyone else who was at the airport to greet her.  Everyone made such a fuss over her! He wondered what the big deal was about her.

"Well, I'm sure she'll go home to her family soon," he thought.

When it was time to climb into the van to go home, the little girl came with them. Eli still wondered why she was with them and how long she would be there.

The next morning when Eli woke up, he saw that this little girl whom everyone called Anya, was still there, even sleeping in the same room! And the next morning, and the next one, too! He wondered if she was there to stay.

Everywhere Eli went, Anya would go, too. For the first few weeks, although he kinda liked having a built-in playmate, Eli felt really grumpy. He screamed and cried every time she played with things that he wanted to play with. For some reason, this Anya girl made him feel like he had no control over his life. She made everything unpredictable to him. Even though they started playing together more and had lots of fun, Eli screamed a lot.

He wasn't sure he liked the competition.

Well, as the weeks went by, Eli started realizing something: Anya was actually pretty fun to have around. As long as she didn't take his toys away, that is.  

Eli was starting to realize that Anya was here to stay. And you know what? He kind of liked her!  She provided entertainment for him all day long!

Two months after Anya came to live with them, their family moved to another house.

It took a good month for both of them to become happy kids again. It was hard adjusting to a new house so soon after a big change. 

But they got through that tough time and decided all was well.

As the weeks turned in to months, Eli and Anya became, not only friends,

but in many ways, they were twins! 

Hours upon hours, the two of them would play while the older children were busy doing big-kid stuff.

It didn't matter that they didn't speak the same language. 

They had their own "language" they shared. 

Many times, they would sit at the table, Anya would say something to Eli and point to his plate. No one else at the table could understand what she had said.

But Eli did. 

The next thing you knew, Eli would say, "kay" and they would switch plates.

It made their family laugh.

Whatever Eli ate, he made sure that Anya did, too.  She loved eating his leftovers, and he loved eating hers, although she would get mad when he did.

They were always aware of what was on each other's plates. 

Right down to the last bite.

Whenever Eli went outside to play, Anya would follow him. If he shut the door before she could get outside, it made her very sad.

When they played, one of them would initiate the activity, then the other would follow along, imitating the sounds and movements that they made.

Whenever one of them would get an owie,

the other one came right over to console.

They were side by side every minute that summer.

In the stroller

in the bike trailer

watching TV

and during every activity. 

Most of their play time involved at least one squabble.

Especially if some power needed to be established.

But as the weeks moved along, those squabbles became less and less frequent.

Now, Anya has been in Eli's family for six months and they are like two peas in a pod.

Kind of like a little Grandma and Grandpa.

Always aware of each other.

Many times, Anya will be in one room and Eli will be in another.

From the distance, you'll here this exchange:

Anya: LIE!

Eli: Huh?

Anya: C'mere.

Eli: Kaaay!

The next thing you hear is Eli's feet slapping against the tile, off to find his sister.

Usually she's just doing somethin' fun and she thinks he would like it, too.

Like washing the dishes,

getting into the pantry when someone forgot to shut the door

(Mom hasn't captured that one on camera yet,)

exploring Mom's makeup drawer(she's usually too unravelled to think about picture-taking when she discovers this one,)

climbing into fun places

tearing things apart (yes, that's the window screen)

 or "cleaning" out the fridge.

Never is there a time when Anya goes in to do her thing in the bathroom without Eli following her. As she sits on the pot, he either plays in the sink or unravels the toilet paper for her. Sometimes Mom will be preoccupied and suddenly it hits her that they are both in the bathroom.

 "Uh, oh, she repeats several times as she sprints to the bathroom door, which is usually closed.

What she almost always discovers on the other side of the door is something that needs to be cleaned up.

Whether it's toilet paper, water all over the sink and floor, or poop.

OR...(cue the Jaws music)

a combination of the three!

Oooo you little devils!

Oh, the fun that Eli and Anya can create together.

Even cleaning up after disasters is fun! 

When we first decided to adopt a child who was older than our youngest, we worried (or at least I did, because that's what moms do!) about how it was going to affect our baby.

We had heard that "disrupting birth order" can be very hard. 

Six months after this change has taken place in our family, this was our experience:  

All children have to make adjustments when new siblings come into the picture, no matter the age.

In our case, the older children adjusted very quickly, and the only one who seemed to have a hard time was Eli, who's younger than Anya. (Bennett is, too...but only in age.) 

I know two situations are never the same, but I think it's pretty safe to say that if the new sibling isn't younger (developmentally) than the youngest, you can expect some tough times. Especially in those first weeks.

But eventually, your little one learns that his new sibling isn't going to run him over, after all.

  

And in time he wonders how he ever got along without her.

He forgets that anything was ever any different.

and it seems that the feeling is mutual.

I can honestly now say that it's probably easier having two little-ones than it was to have one! No one gets bored. There's always someone to play with!

It warms our hearts every time we see them happily playing.

It makes all the stressful times completely worth the while.

I want to treasure these next two years with all I've got. Probably about the time that Eli starts kindergarten, he will have passed Anya up developmentally and will have different interests.  He's already speaking in full sentences,where she's lucky to get one intelligible word out. That makes me sad. But I can see him teaming up with Bennett to be her protector at school in the years that follow.  

Although Eli and Anya came to our family "out of order," I know that they were each meant to join us at the times that they did. They're forming a bond right now that will stay with them the rest of their lives. There's no doubt about it.