A Few Thoughts

OK, today is the day that this blog will no longer be accessible unless you are given permission.  I'll wait until night time just in case anyone who is following missed my last post.
 

Jeremy and I are so touched by the many e-mails that I received from readers of this blog who want to have access when it's private.  I had almost fifty people contact me either through comments or e-mail.  Many of them said that they have been praying for Anna.  Some of them prayed for her many weeks ago that her family would find her and they were so grateful that their prayers were answered.  This touches us so much.  I can't tell you how this makes us feel.  Many of these people have never commented on the blog or e-mailed me until now. Thank you to all of you who are praying to help bring our sweet girl home to us. I know that God hears all of our prayers and that he loves Anna and wants her to come home. I know this.  I have never felt closer to Him in my life.  This has been such a sweet experience.

Like all adoption bloggers, I have mixed feelings about going private.  I like the fact that I know who my readers are and that we are safe from the possibility of jeopardizing the adoption on the Eastern Europe end.  But at the same time, I think of those who could be inspired by it in some way and will hit that brick wall that says, "this blog is only open to invited readers."  That's sad! I know that the purpose of our adoption is so much greater than the actual adoption itself.  I think we'll leave it private until we officially accept her "referral," then I'll have to decide what to do between that time and court, which will be a few months.  It's really best to be vague and not share info about the place or the child's name until after court.

OK people. Our agency's coordinator in Anna's city needs lots of prayers.  She has been calling every day to try get an appointment with the director of the Ministry of Education, who was out sick for weeks and is now just trying to catch up with her duties.  When they finally have this meeting, she will be advocating not only for Anna, Josiah and Ian, but any future children who have special needs in this city's orphanages.  Reece's Rainbow has partnered with our agency to find families for many of these children and help bring them home.  This is a new program and a lot lies in the hands of those who make the decisions.  Little lives, to be exact.  I know one thing they are going to discuss is the possibility of getting the special needs cases to go through more quickly.  These children need services and some need medical intervention as soon as possible.  But a few cases of abuse by foreign adoptive families have made it very difficult for the rest of us.  So many miracles are needed to change the mindset of the leaders and give them greater confidence. As of now, the adoption of these children isn't a priority to them.  Just look at how long our file has been sitting in their office, untouched. Our coordinator is fighting hard for Anna and for all the others.  But she needs more than just her abilities to persuade.  She needs miracles. 

 

This Blog is Going Private Soon

I've decided to make this blog private next Monday, the 25th.  I'm a little nervous about jeopardizing anything since we haven't met Anna in person.  The country she is in is very touchy about sharing things publicly before officially committing.  Hopefully, we can make it public again after the first trip.  If you'd like to continue to follow our adoption journey, either leave a comment or e-mail me at hfillmore@digis.net and let me know your e-mail address and I'll send you an invite to view the blog.  Sorry for the inconvenience!

New Pictures and a Hopeful Update!

I got a present in my inbox this morning. :) :) :) Our coordinator who lives near Anna's orphanage was able to get some updated pictures for us. I want to give her a big hug and tell her THANK YOU!  We've had so many weeks of nothing.  No word, no updates.  This made us so happy. I e-mailed them to Jeremy and he said they made him cry. Our little girl is looking older. The last pictures we have of her were from May. Boy they change in five months time! She's as gorgeous as ever though.

"You really want me to play with this chick?"

"Now, I don't know about this old lady, either.

Are you sure she's not the big, bad wolf?"

"And what about the snake? 

Could someone show me a cute baby doll or a kitty or something?."

"Thanks.  That's much better."

Doesn't look like they got any smiles out of her. She was probably a little nervous because they brought her and Ian into the play room and there was this unfamiliar woman in there taking pictures of them.  A little out of the ordinary!    I have to mention that I laughed when I saw she has a cold sore.  Those little buggers are my biggest plague in life.  I get them all the time and so does Sadie.  So she'll fit right in and get lots of sympathy from us. 

Oh, we just love her!

And...here's the best part of the day!  The director of the committee is BACK TO WORK!!!!!!!  We have been praying for her recovery for weeks!  The lady who is over the dossiers didn't give our coordinator a definate committment of WHEN...but she *hopes* they will get around to reading our dossier this week. Please,  please... GET AROUND TO IT!  Anna is waiting for us!

Stiiiiiiiiill waiting for that travel date.

The director of the Minestry of Education in Anna's City, who is the one who needs to read our dossier and give us a date, is still out of the office, sick.  First we waited while she went on a three week vacation.  Then she was in the office for a few days and had to catch up with other things and couldn't get around to reading dossiers.   Then they had that meeting two weeks ago where they decided no more adoptions in 2010, and she's been out sick ever since.   Our coordinator says she's checking every day to see if she's back.  No luck yet.

 I have felt a lot of peace in the past few weeks and I know we will go when the time is right.  It's just really hard not knowing when. 

It sounds like she's in a great orphanage.  Thankfully, they didn't move her to an institution this past year when she aged out of the baby house.  So she's getting good care as far as orphanage life goes. But the hard part for me is knowing that she's getting older every day.  She's apparently not talking yet (except her "own" language that no one understands) and the orpanage doctor is optimistic that she will do great with speech therapy.  But the older she gets, the harder it will be for her to learn to talk.  I went to school in speech therapy, so it drives me bonkers when I think about this.   

This is the photo that is on the orphan database in Anna's country. It looks like it's a year or two old.  Just look at that sweet face.  It makes me so sad that she has spent all these five and a half years without a mom and dad.  She doesn't have any idea how special she is.  I wish someone could tell her we're coming.  I don't think they can until we are there, ready to come meet her.

We are praying every day that the director of the committee will get well very soon, return to work and take time to read our paperwork and meet with our coordinator.  And that her heart will be softened and will allow the special needs cases to go forward this year and not have to wait.  As time goes on, we are feeling Anna's absense more and more. Even the kids pray for her without our prompting.  (It's really cute.) 

She just needs to come home to her family.

Meet Rochelle

Jeremy and I were excited this past week to discover that someone we knew from our days at USU is kinda famous now, thanks to the new Mormon.org website! It has little movie profiles of lots of members of our worldwide church who are in different circumstances in life, following their hearts in all kinds of ways. Here's the video about beautiful Rochelle and her family.  They happen to have something else in common with us...they adopted a child with Down Syndrome!



You can read more about how their story of how Derick came into thier lives by reading her profile. Scroll down to where it says Personal Stories.

Rochelle and I have e-mailed each other several times this past week.  We have very similar experiences in how we received answers through the Holy Spirit and have gone forward knowing without doubt that the Lord had called us to succor one of the "least of these."  Derick is now 13 years old and is still potty training and nonverbal, mostly because of his sad past, when he didn't receive the intervention that was needed.  It has not been easy for the Tallmages, but never have they questioned!  They know that they were called to be his family.  Rochelle told me that when times get tough, she remembers her experience where the Holy Spirit spoke to her and that many of the rewards of having him in their family have yet to be realized.  Some will come in the eternities. With that perspective, they have found untold joy in raising this special person. 

I'm so glad we found Rochelle's little movie this past week.  It made us so happy!

There's Still Hope

Our coordinator is trying to set up a meeting with the head of the committee this week to see if they would make an exception to the suspension for Anna (and others with our agency) since she has special needs.   There have been exceptions in the past.  For example they used to waive the 10-day waiting period after court for special needs kids.  So it's very possible!  We are hoping and praying that our coordinator will get an appointment with this woman and that she will take the time to review our dossier and out of the goodness of her heart allow our case to go through this year. Not only will it benefit Anna to be out of the orphanage, but it will be a huge help to us financially to get our adoption tax refund early next year.  If it's the Lord's will, this miracle will happen! 

Sad News

The Minestry of Education in Anna's city met on Thursday.  It was decided that no more adoptions will take place in 2010.  The City Government's goal is not to exceed the number of adoptions that took place last year, and they have exceeded that number. Also, because of some recent US adoptive parent abuse cases, the Governor's goal is to eventually reduce the number of adoptions by 60% compared to 2009.

Reduce by 60%.  I don't understand this. It's so unfair to the children. 
So...our dream of having Anna home in 2010 is now over.  Our coordinator there has promised that she will call every day and try to talk the leader of the committee into reviewing our dossiers (ours and the Nine's) and giving us our appointments, so we can at least make our first trip this year. She was told by a commitee member not to worry about if our adoptions will happen. It's only a matter of when. She figured out that it appears that the reason our dossiers haven't been reviewed is because they have been putting everyone off so that the number of adoptions will s-l-o-w  d-o-w-n.  We won't be able to submit our court papers until the end of the year, then we most likely won't be able to get our court date until February or March, given the number of people who will be in line before us, some who have already gone for their first trips before this point.

So we will still hold out hope for a travel date soon.  But even if we do meet Anna, say in November, it will be a good 3-4 months before we can go back for her.

This will be one of our biggest tests of patience ever.  But we'll make it. In the end, it will all seem like one little speck of time in eternity, and the rewards will make every minute of waiting worth it.