The story of a lucky family that brings home a perfect girl.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
No News Yet
Well, today was the day that the main lady in charge of the Commitee of Education in Anna's city returned from her vacation and we were told that our file would be quickly brought to her attention. No word on if it was, or what the status is. Maybe she was just catching up with things today and she'll get down to business tomorrow. We'll keep our fingers crossed!
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Faith Vs. Reason
I'm learning right now that one of the reasons the Lord led us to adoption, is that I needed something to help my faith grow. I have always known that I had a long ways to go. But never have I seen with greater magnitude just how weak I really am on my own, and how much I have to rely on my Savior.
It seems like every day that we inch closer to traveling to meet our future daughter and the closer this is to becoming a reality and not just a bunch of paperwork and talk, my feelings of inadequacy grow stronger and stronger. I know it's Satan working on me because he knows how much our family will benefit and grow spiritually from having her, and he wants me to get discouraged. So it's a daily battle. Satan attacks my confidence. I become discouraged, and afraid. Then at bedtime, I pray as much as my weary mind can pray, throw my head on the pillow, then wake up in the morning with a renewed desire to be strong again. With my mind clearer than the night before, I kneel before my maker, pleading with Him to once again give me peace. I tell Him once again how much I need Him. Of course He already knows this. But I just have to remind Him that I know it, too. Then I open my scriptures, and as if on-cue, He sends me that assurance. Not a day goes by when I don't open up to something that gives me courage to move forward and reassurance that we are in line with God's will.
This morning, I found this courage in the story of Moses. He experienced much of the same feelings that I am experiencing. He had freed the children of Israel, then led them on what seemed like a suicidal course right into the Red Sea. The Egyptian armies were hot on their tails. I imagine that all reason that existed in these people's minds cried out to go to the left or the right, because it was obvious that going straight ahead would lead them to death! They were trapped between the Red Sea and the army. The poor, scared Israelites cried out, "It had been better for us to serve the Egyptians, than that we should die in the wilderness." (Exodus 14:12)
This is where I identified with Moses. He was alone. (The difference is I have my awesome co-captain, Jeremy. But I do feel alone in my personal struggles.) The power of reason and the power of the people he was leading combined against him in a fury that he had never experienced. But deep inside his soul, he had a power that was much greater than that of any man. It pushed him forward against all odds and against everything that was rational in people's minds. This power came from his faith. It ended up being what saved him and his people--temporally and spiritually. We all know what happened next. One of the greatest miracles recorded in the Bible.
Have you ever faced a time when, like Moses and his people, your faith and the reason of the world seem incompatible and you have to make a choice between the two? This adoption is definitely one of those times for me. Everything that man understands seems to swell like a big wave in the ocean, and in opposition, I stand here with all I've got...my faith. I know it's not trendy or popular to have big families, or for that matter, adopt a child with special needs. I'm learning that popularity is no longer something that matters. (We threw that out the window and to be honest, it kinda feels good.) As we stand firm in our faith of what we know to be right, even when the big waves of human reason pound hard against us, we find ourselves unmoved. Fazed? Maybe a little. But not moved. My faith in Christ is my anchor.
Something I read recently in a book called The Infinite Atonement is that the atonement has no limitations. Not only does it cover all our sins, transgressions, pain, temptations, and weaknesses, but get this...it also covers every demand that we have for faith. Even Christ knows what it's like to take a step into the unknown. When he was left alone on the cross, his father had to completely withdraw from him. Yes, He was a god, but He was also human, and had to go forward all on his own even when reason told him He wouldn't be able to. He had faith and exercised it. And by that power, he "forged ahead in uncharted waters to consummate the atoning sacrifice." It required all the faith he could summon. I am so grateful to know that he completely understands how hard it is to have faith.
If you're still with me...thanks for reading my Sunday afternoon journal entry (public style :)) I felt like I needed to share these thoughts with you today. May your faith in Christ anchor you in your trials and give you the courage to forge ahead.
It seems like every day that we inch closer to traveling to meet our future daughter and the closer this is to becoming a reality and not just a bunch of paperwork and talk, my feelings of inadequacy grow stronger and stronger. I know it's Satan working on me because he knows how much our family will benefit and grow spiritually from having her, and he wants me to get discouraged. So it's a daily battle. Satan attacks my confidence. I become discouraged, and afraid. Then at bedtime, I pray as much as my weary mind can pray, throw my head on the pillow, then wake up in the morning with a renewed desire to be strong again. With my mind clearer than the night before, I kneel before my maker, pleading with Him to once again give me peace. I tell Him once again how much I need Him. Of course He already knows this. But I just have to remind Him that I know it, too. Then I open my scriptures, and as if on-cue, He sends me that assurance. Not a day goes by when I don't open up to something that gives me courage to move forward and reassurance that we are in line with God's will.
This morning, I found this courage in the story of Moses. He experienced much of the same feelings that I am experiencing. He had freed the children of Israel, then led them on what seemed like a suicidal course right into the Red Sea. The Egyptian armies were hot on their tails. I imagine that all reason that existed in these people's minds cried out to go to the left or the right, because it was obvious that going straight ahead would lead them to death! They were trapped between the Red Sea and the army. The poor, scared Israelites cried out, "It had been better for us to serve the Egyptians, than that we should die in the wilderness." (Exodus 14:12)
This is where I identified with Moses. He was alone. (The difference is I have my awesome co-captain, Jeremy. But I do feel alone in my personal struggles.) The power of reason and the power of the people he was leading combined against him in a fury that he had never experienced. But deep inside his soul, he had a power that was much greater than that of any man. It pushed him forward against all odds and against everything that was rational in people's minds. This power came from his faith. It ended up being what saved him and his people--temporally and spiritually. We all know what happened next. One of the greatest miracles recorded in the Bible.
Have you ever faced a time when, like Moses and his people, your faith and the reason of the world seem incompatible and you have to make a choice between the two? This adoption is definitely one of those times for me. Everything that man understands seems to swell like a big wave in the ocean, and in opposition, I stand here with all I've got...my faith. I know it's not trendy or popular to have big families, or for that matter, adopt a child with special needs. I'm learning that popularity is no longer something that matters. (We threw that out the window and to be honest, it kinda feels good.) As we stand firm in our faith of what we know to be right, even when the big waves of human reason pound hard against us, we find ourselves unmoved. Fazed? Maybe a little. But not moved. My faith in Christ is my anchor.
Something I read recently in a book called The Infinite Atonement is that the atonement has no limitations. Not only does it cover all our sins, transgressions, pain, temptations, and weaknesses, but get this...it also covers every demand that we have for faith. Even Christ knows what it's like to take a step into the unknown. When he was left alone on the cross, his father had to completely withdraw from him. Yes, He was a god, but He was also human, and had to go forward all on his own even when reason told him He wouldn't be able to. He had faith and exercised it. And by that power, he "forged ahead in uncharted waters to consummate the atoning sacrifice." It required all the faith he could summon. I am so grateful to know that he completely understands how hard it is to have faith.
If you're still with me...thanks for reading my Sunday afternoon journal entry (public style :)) I felt like I needed to share these thoughts with you today. May your faith in Christ anchor you in your trials and give you the courage to forge ahead.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
CTR
Have you heard about Connecting the Rainbow? It's a new program that Reece's Rainbow has started that, someday, when their goal is met, will eliminate much of the need for Reece's Rainbow! Can you imagine how incredible it would be if all those parents of babies with Down Syndrome were actually encouraged to keep thier babies and given all kinds of resources and support to empower them? None of this would happen to these precious children. And hopefully, none of this either.
Since Reece's Rainbow began, something amazing is happening. According to the CTR website, "Slowly, one family at a time, parents in Eastern Europe are beginning to realize maybe the medical professionals who've been telling them their children will never learn, or have any quality of life, might not know the truth! They're following their hearts, and bringing their children home! It is the hope of this organization to raise awareness about potential and capabilities of people with Down Syndrome. They are also trying to educate doctors, therapists, teachers and others in their society, so when children are born with Down syndrome in their country, they are not placed in an orphanage or institution, but are taken home and raised in their family."
This is a huge undertaking that will happen one family at a time. But knowledge is power, and it will slowly spread and save a lot of lives. I'm really excited about this. Jeremy and I feel that although adopting Anna is "only a drop in the bucket" as far as this problem in Eastern Europe goes, having Anna as our own will light the passion within us to be a part of the change. I look forward to helping in some way with this great project.
Funny enough, the acronym CTR is pretty much a household word in Mormon culture. It means "Choose the Right." When our kids are little, they get a ring that looks like this. When we see this symbol, we are reminded to make right choices when we are faced with temptation. How appropriate that the other CTR, "Connecting the Rainbow" is all about helping people to make the right choice. I love it!Monday, September 6, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
The Golden Ticket has Arrived!
So close...
We found out on Wednesday that "Ms. Head Honcho" of the MOE is...you guessed it...on vacation. She put another woman in charge of giving approvals, but this woman is hesitant to go ahead and approve us without her boss in town because of the number of children we have. Uh...ok.
Our agency was cautious and sort of "pre-approved" us with Ms. Head Honcho before we even started our paperwork. So it's not supposed to be an issue, but the substitute lady said she doesn't want to take responsibility for this. She told our coordinator that she'll look over our file and think about it more, but she most likely will wait until Ms. Head Honcho returns. I think this is in a couple of weeks.
So we continue to wait. We could hear in the next couple of days, or in a couple of weeks. Then it could be really fast. A few people who have adopted from this city have said that they only had 8 days' notice for their first trip! That would be quite the whirlwind. But exciting!
I've been dreaming about Anna lately. I'm so excited to finally meet her...to hold her chubby little hand, to look into those gorgeous little eyes and teach her about love. It's going to be incredible. I can feel it. We can feel it.
Our agency was cautious and sort of "pre-approved" us with Ms. Head Honcho before we even started our paperwork. So it's not supposed to be an issue, but the substitute lady said she doesn't want to take responsibility for this. She told our coordinator that she'll look over our file and think about it more, but she most likely will wait until Ms. Head Honcho returns. I think this is in a couple of weeks.
So we continue to wait. We could hear in the next couple of days, or in a couple of weeks. Then it could be really fast. A few people who have adopted from this city have said that they only had 8 days' notice for their first trip! That would be quite the whirlwind. But exciting!
I've been dreaming about Anna lately. I'm so excited to finally meet her...to hold her chubby little hand, to look into those gorgeous little eyes and teach her about love. It's going to be incredible. I can feel it. We can feel it.
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