Hold on Tight, Baby Girl!

It won't be too much longer.

Pretty soon, Mama and Daddy are coming.

We won't get to bring you home yet,

but if it's OK with you,

we'll give you lots of big bear squeezes

to hold you over until we return.

We received our match packet from our agency today.  They printed off a few pictures for us.  This was one of them.  Oh...how I want to have that travel date.  We need to meet our baby girl.  We're ready. 

Those squishy arms and chubby cheeks are calling us! 

Buddy Walk

One of the best things I've done to prepare for having a child with Down Syndrome is getting involved in our local DS Foundation chapter.  I am serving on the board as the one who plans get-togethers for families of school-age children with DS.   I haven't done anything to get involved in our community for a while and it feels great!

Saturday was our Buddy Walk.  I was in charge of preparing and serving the breakfast.  We had Chick-Fil-A biscuits, melon, donuts and milk.  It was crazy trying to figure out quantities and getting donations.  Our chapter president was most successful in getting businesses to donate.  I didn't have much luck with that part.  But I'm glad I could be involved in such a great event.

This is our chapter president, Lisa's gorgeous daughter and hubby.

And here's another board member, Nicole with her cute boys.

Look at this guy.  Can you just eat him up?

Another board member, Summer with her little monkey. 

He had a mustache like her but he must have rubbed it off.

I set up a booth for Reece's Rainbow, to help spread the word about this great organization.  This is a poster I made on Photoshop and had Jeremy print out at work.  I put a few pictures of some of my favorite RR orphans on the poster and described what Reece's Rainbow is all about.

Here I am (on the right) with my two new friends Shannon and Angie.  Both of these awesome women are hoping to adopt a child with special needs through Reece's Rainbow and they offered to help with the booth.  It was so great to have them there! I have met so many incredible women through Reece's Rainbow who have either adopted already or are in the process. It was fun to actually meet a couple of them in person!  We handed out some brochures and talked to a few people.  I think we were successful in spreading the word a bit.  

What a great morning.  The weather was perfect, the atmosphere was perfect, and we had a great turn-out!  I'm so glad we got to get involved.  A couple of my good friends came to help with food and a few of Sadie's friends, too.  Jeremy was a huge help, too.  Thank you everyone who helped make this a success!  I'm excited to see how much money was raised.

Here we go again.

Have you ever had one of those dreams where you're trying your hardest to get somewhere or find something and no matter how long and how hard you look, it's nowhere to be found?

After checking my e-mail 100 times in a few hours time, I finally got one from our agency.  When our coordinator called the committee, they said they were too backed up with dossiers "because of vacations."  So in addition to fulfilling their everyday duties, they have to review the dossiers that were submitted August 23, one by one.  Apparently ours and the Nine family's are not the only ones still waiting for review. Our in-country coordinator was told it would be at least another week.  They told her, "don't worry, just wait."  Our dossier has been sitting in this city since June.  JUNE! What's another week or so? 

All in His timing.  Patience is definitely a virtue, isn't it?

Friday...

The head lady said she needs two more days (hopefully because she's just trying to get caught up) and to have our in-country coordinator call her on Friday.  OK folks.  Two more days.  At least we won't feel like we have to check our e-mail every minute until then.  Good thing I'm busy with Buddy Walk stuff, parent teacher conferences, Cub Scout Pack Meetings, etc etc!  Hopefully we have some news on Friday!

No News Yet

Well, today was the day that the main lady in charge of the Commitee of Education in Anna's city returned from her vacation and we were told that our file would be quickly brought to her attention.  No word on if it was, or what the status is.  Maybe she was just catching up with things today and she'll get down to business tomorrow.  We'll keep our fingers crossed!

Faith Vs. Reason

I'm learning right now that one of the reasons the Lord led us to adoption, is that I needed something to help my faith grow.  I have always known that I had a long ways to go.  But never have I seen with greater magnitude just how weak I really am on my own, and how much I have to rely on my Savior.

It seems like every day that we inch closer to traveling to meet our future daughter and the closer this is to becoming a reality and not just a bunch of paperwork and talk,  my feelings of inadequacy grow stronger and stronger.  I know it's Satan working on me because he knows how much our family will benefit and grow spiritually from having her, and he wants me to get discouraged.  So it's a daily battle.  Satan attacks my confidence.  I become discouraged, and afraid.  Then at bedtime, I pray as much as my weary mind can pray, throw my head on the pillow, then wake up in the morning with a renewed desire to be strong again.  With my mind clearer than the night before, I kneel before my maker, pleading with Him to once again  give me peace.  I tell Him once again how much I need Him.  Of course He already knows this.  But I just have to remind Him that I know it, too.  Then I open my scriptures, and as if on-cue, He sends me that assurance. Not a day goes by when I don't open up to something that gives me courage to move forward and reassurance that we are in line with God's will.

This morning, I found this courage in the story of Moses.  He experienced much of the same feelings that I am experiencing. He had freed the children of Israel, then led them on what seemed like a suicidal course right into the Red Sea.  The Egyptian armies were hot on their tails.  I imagine that all reason that existed in these people's minds cried out to go to the left or the right, because it was obvious that going straight ahead would lead them to death!  They were trapped between the Red Sea and the army.  The poor, scared Israelites cried out, "It had been better for us to serve the Egyptians, than that we should die in the wilderness." (Exodus 14:12)

This is where I identified with Moses.  He was alone. (The difference is I have my awesome co-captain, Jeremy. But I do feel alone in my personal struggles.)  The power of reason and the power of the people he was leading combined against him in a fury that he had never experienced.  But deep inside his soul, he had a power that was much greater than that of any man. It pushed him forward against all odds and against everything that was rational in people's minds.  This power came from his faith.  It ended up being what saved him and his people--temporally and spiritually.    We all know what happened next.  One of the greatest miracles recorded in the Bible. 

Have you ever faced a time when, like Moses and his people, your faith and the reason of the world seem incompatible and you have to make a choice between the two? This adoption is definitely one of those times for me.   Everything that man understands seems to swell like a big wave in the ocean, and in opposition, I stand here with all I've got...my faith.   I know it's not trendy or popular to have big families, or for that matter, adopt a child with special needs.  I'm learning that popularity is no longer something that matters. (We threw that out the window and to be honest, it kinda feels good.)  As we stand firm in our faith of what we know to be right, even when the big waves of human reason pound hard against us, we find ourselves unmoved.  Fazed?  Maybe a little.  But not moved.  My faith in Christ is my anchor.

Something I read recently in a book called The Infinite Atonement is that the atonement has no limitations.  Not only does it cover all our sins, transgressions, pain, temptations, and weaknesses, but get this...it also covers every demand that we have for faith.  Even Christ knows what it's like to take a step into the unknown.  When he was left alone on the cross, his father had to completely withdraw from him.  Yes, He was a god, but He was also human, and had to go forward all on his own even when reason told him He wouldn't be able to.  He had faith and exercised it.  And by that power, he "forged ahead in uncharted waters to consummate the atoning sacrifice."  It required all the faith he could summon.  I am so grateful to know that he completely understands how hard it is to have faith.

If you're still with me...thanks for reading my Sunday afternoon journal entry (public style :)) I felt like I needed to share these thoughts with you today.  May your faith in Christ anchor you in your trials and give you the courage to forge ahead.

Come Join Us!

CTR

Have you heard about Connecting the Rainbow?  It's a new program that Reece's Rainbow has started that, someday, when their goal is met, will eliminate much of the need for Reece's Rainbow!  Can you imagine how incredible it would be if all those parents of babies with Down Syndrome were actually encouraged to keep thier babies and given all kinds of resources and support to empower them? None of this would happen to these precious children.  And hopefully, none of this either. 

Since Reece's Rainbow began, something amazing is happening. According to the CTR website, "Slowly, one family at a time, parents in Eastern Europe are beginning to realize maybe the medical professionals who've been telling them their children will never learn, or have any quality of life, might not know the truth! They're following their hearts, and bringing their children home! It is the hope of this organization to raise awareness about potential and capabilities of people with Down Syndrome. They are also trying to educate doctors, therapists, teachers and others in their society, so when children are born with Down syndrome in their country, they are not placed in an orphanage or institution, but are taken home and raised in their family."

This is a  huge undertaking that will happen one family at a time.  But knowledge is power, and it will slowly spread and save a lot of lives.  I'm really excited about this.  Jeremy and I feel that although adopting Anna is  "only a drop in the bucket" as far as this problem in Eastern Europe goes, having Anna as our own will light the passion within us to be a part of the change.  I look forward to helping in some way with this great project.

Funny enough, the acronym CTR is pretty much a household word in Mormon culture.  It means "Choose the Right."   When our kids are little, they get a ring that looks like this. When we see this symbol, we are reminded to make right choices when we are faced with temptation.  How appropriate that the other CTR, "Connecting the Rainbow" is all about helping people to make the right choice.  I love it!

Too Darn Cute.

Sadie could watch this a thousand times and never get tired of it.

The Golden Ticket has Arrived!

I just found a beatiful envelope in my pile of mail from the Department of Homeland Security.  We have our "golden ticket," otherwise known as the I 171-H!   The US Government has officially given us approval for advance processing of our orphan petition.  This is a very important piece of our dossier!  Now all we need is my FBI clearance to happen (I had to send in a second set of fingerprints) and our family doctor to fill out some papers and we'll be done with everything.  Yeah...one more big item checked off the list!

So close...

We found out on Wednesday that "Ms. Head Honcho" of the MOE is...you guessed it...on vacation.  She put another woman in charge of giving approvals, but this woman is hesitant to go ahead and approve us without her boss in town because of the number of children we have.  Uh...ok.

Our agency was cautious and sort of "pre-approved" us with Ms. Head Honcho before we even started our paperwork.  So it's not supposed to be an issue, but the substitute lady said she doesn't want to take responsibility for this.  She told our coordinator that she'll look over our file and think about it more, but she most likely will wait until Ms. Head Honcho returns.  I think this is in a couple of weeks. 

So we continue to wait.  We could hear in the next couple of days, or in a couple of weeks.  Then it could be really fast.  A few people who have adopted from this city have said that they only had 8 days' notice for their first trip!  That would be quite the whirlwind.  But exciting!

I've been dreaming about Anna lately.  I'm so excited to finally meet her...to hold her chubby little hand, to look into those gorgeous little eyes and teach her about love.  It's going to be incredible. I can feel it. We can feel it.